BELIEVE IN MAGIC

BELIEVE IN MAGIC

MY STORY

WHEN I STRUGGLED TO FALL PREGNANT I FELL INTO  A STRANGE PLACE. I LOST CONFIDENCE AND FELT USELESS. THE ONE THING I WAS MADE TO DO, I COULDN'T.

AROUND ME EVERY WOMEN SEEMED TO BE PREGNANT. AS NEWLY WEDS IT'S WAS ALL I GOT ASKED "WHEN ARE YOU HAVING CHILDREN?" "ARE WE GOING TO BE GRANDPARENTS SOON?"  "HOW MANY ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE" IT SEEMED TO BE AN ENDLESS BARAGE OF PREGNANCY HARASSMENT. 

IVF 

WHEN EVERY MONTH PASSED, AND THE PREGNANCY TESTS SHOWED NEGATIVE, IT SEEMed LIKE TIME WAS SLIPPING AWAY.                               WE HAD BEEN GRANTED ONE GO AT IVF THROUGH THE NHS. "THIS IS IT" I SAID TO MYSELF.  AT THIS TIME WE WERE ALSO MOVING HOUSE. I KNEW I WANTED TO FOCUS MY MIND ON POSITIVE ENERGY, SO MOVING WAS A PERFECT TIME TO CREATE SPACE.  NOT TO FAR AWAY, BUT FAR ENOUGH TO ESCAPE THE DAILY PREGNANCY QUESTIONING.

I DIDN'T TELL MANY PEOPLE ABOUT INFERTILITY PROBLEMS. AFTER ALL I WAS EXHAUSTED FROM THE JOKES OF " I ONLY HAVE TO SNEEZE AND I'M PREGNANT" OR MY LEAST FAVOURITE "MY WIFE'S A BABY MACHINE" WELL THANK YOU, YOU INCONSIDERATE BASTOD!" 

IVF IS A INCREDIBLE JOURNEY, BUT EQUALLY TOUGH , AND THERE WERE MANY MOMENTS WHEN I FELT SO ALONE AND SO SCARED THAT I CONTEMPLATED GIVING UP AND LIVING MY LIFE CHILDLESS. 

BELIEVE IN MAGIC

THANKFULLY WE MOVED JUST BEFORE THE TREATMENT BEGAN. I STARTED TO VISUALISE BEING A MUM. I THOUGHT OF NOTHING ELSE, EXCEPT HOLDING MY BABY FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. IVF WAS CHALLENGING, BUT WITH EVERY APPOINTMENT, EVERY NEEDLE I VISUALISED MY BABY.

WHEN THE DAY CAME FOR MY TRANSFER, I LAID ON THE HOSPITAL BED AND WAS TOLD TO WATCH THE TV SCREEN IN FRONT OF ME. SUDDENLY I SAW A BLURRED OBJECT COME INTO FOCUS, A MICROSCOPIC BLASTOCYST  APPEARED, MOVING  AROUND LIKE A DANCING JELLY BEAN, THIS WAS MY BABY I'D WAITED SO PATIENTLY FOR, I JUST KNEW IT. AS I LAY THERE I BECAME OVERWHELMED WITH VISONS OF ME AND MY BABY. IT WAS SO POWERFUL I BEGAN TO CRY. 

BOXING DAY 2013 WAS PLANNED AS THE DAY WE TOOK THE FIRST PREGNANCY TEST. I WASN'T NERVOUS, BECAUSE I ALREADY KNEW I WAS PREGNANT, I HAD NO SYMPTOMS, I JUST BELIEVED IN NOTHING ELSE. 

MOTHERHOOD

7 MAGICAL YEARS LATER MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER KEEPS ME ON MY TOES EVERYDAY. SHE IS A REMINDER OF HOW YOUR REALITY IS BASED ON YOUR BELIEF. WHEN YOU BELIEVE ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE, THAN YOU OPEN UP YOUR HEART AND YOUR MIND TO THE MAGIC OF LIMITLESS OPTIONS.

KEEP BELIEVING IN YOUR MAGIC.

BIG LOVE

LUCY

 

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