I hardly spoke - By Sasi Krishnan

If you are reading this and are my school, university, or childhood friend, you will understand what I
mean when I say, “I hardly spoke.” This was the first half of my life.
I had no voice! I wasn’t dumb if that’s what you are thinking. I just wasn’t given a choice to speak.

I come from a strong, independent, and moral upbringing, where good behaviour, education,
marriage, and a job determined the way forward in life, and nothing else. I can’t remember a single
instance where I felt I loved (not literally) and heard.

During my first year at Uni, a classmate walked up to me and said, “You look beautiful in a saree”; What
did I do… Went home and looked at myself in the mirror? At that time, I didn’t know what it meant and
why it meant, but today, perhaps that was one of the light bulb moments in my life. I graduated, became a bread earner, and was determined to give my family a better life. I worked for a few years in India and moved to UK with aspirations for better prospects.

Moving to England was one of the best decisions of my life. It had its positives and challenges. To begin with, the culture shock. Everything was completely different to where I came from, and I had to quickly learn and adapt. I took up a customer service role in a reputed company, which was a
blessing in disguise as I couldn’t drive. I faced racism, bullying and people making fun of my accent, to name a few experiences during my first year. Soon, I left the job, and friends who knew the real story advised me to leave the country, as I didn’t deserve this kind of treatment. I felt shattered, humiliated, hopeless and helpless. My confidence took a nosedive. But one thing that stuck with me was my conscience telling me to hold on. I am glad I listened and trusted my instincts!

After taking a short break, I found a part-time job that bolstered me for life ahead. This demanding role
taught me what life is and how I needed to approach it. As I was at the deep end, the transition wasn't
easy - either swim or drown. I chose to swim, which helped me hone my skills and prepared me for the
road ahead. Soon I became permanent in the role and got my much-needed break, career growth, and
a friend for life.

They say certain patterns repeat themselves, and it certainly did for me. Bullying at work and naysayers.
I stood up to them and held my fort. At times, I wanted to give up, as the stress levels were extremely high; however, the conscious in me kept saying, “hold on”. Again, I am glad I listened to my instincts.
Every adverse situation has helped me explore my strength, resilience and given me perspectives, and made me the person I am today.
Being a mother was another life-changing experience, and it gave me a new lens to view the world.
Giving up my career to raise my son was a conscious decision that I took, and as with everything, it has
it's ups and downs. I wouldn’t change a thing as I could give my son my time, more importantly, the value - being loved and heard, which I had longed for. Today, I have a very strong bond with my son, andI feel happy and grateful.

My personal space is Fitness and Yoga, and I swear by it.

Another major decision was taking the leap of faith and starting my business, “Sasi Samyal. The last 18 months have empowered me, and taught me to be ambitious, daring, and to be my authentic self!

“My Passion is my business” what more can I ask for. With all the learnings, knowledge, wisdom, and
journey so far, I would love to make a difference in a way that touches people’s lives and leave a legacy that my family and I will be proud of.
In India and Hindu philosophy, women are called “Shakti”, which means - power, energy, and force. I
have found the Shakti in me! We women have lot more in us than we would ever know. Today, I am the
happiest I have ever been, both physically and mentally.
Thank you, Lucy, for the wonderful opportunity... you have truly empowered me with this blog.
Be the lioness you are. Keep Roaring!

Sasi, thank you so much for sharing your brave and empowering journey with us. I've read your blog a few times, each time experiencing a different emotion from, anger at the suffering you experienced, to immense proudness at all you have achieved. It is an absolute honour to have you join the other four phenomenal guest bloggers. 

Keep shining like the star you are. 

Lucy xxxx